Fresh Year, Honest Overwhelm

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Welcome to the Bubble Lounge and Happy New Year, everyone. I love the feeling of a fresh start, but if I'm being honest, January can also feel a little overwhelming. We're motivated, we're hopeful, and we're also wondering how to actually follow through and make our new goals happen.

Meet Coach Jen Marulis

SPEAKER_01 0:24

That's why I'm so excited to kick off the year with today's guest, Jen Marulis, is a certified life coach and the founder of JCM Life Coaching. And she specializes in working with teens and moms, which means she truly understands that so-called challenging years aren't just hard for kids. They can be equally as hard for parents. Jen and her husband raised three kids in the park city, so she's lived it. And through her coaching, she helps moms and teens learn practical tools, life skills, and mindset shifts that make goals feel achievable instead of overwhelming. This conversation is all about resetting your mindset, finding focus, and stepping into the new year with confidence without pressure, guilt, or burnout. If you're ready to feel energized, learn some simple tactics, and start your year feeling positive and clear, you're in the right place. Let's get into it. Jen, thank you for being here today. Yes, thanks for having me. I'm so happy to be here. Well, I first discovered you a couple of years ago at Highland Park High School. You were giving a presentation to the parents, and I just found every single thing that you said so relatable. Like I almost felt like you were speaking to me individually. And it was so refreshing to know that so many other parents felt the same and they they were going through the same things. You know, at the end of the day, we're kind of all in the same boat, right? 100%.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

And that's so rewarding to hear because that's that's what that's what I felt like I was missing in my life. And I needed someone to kind of guide me and encourage and teach me some just basic tools.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Right, right. Well, we're here today to talk about the new year and just kind of reset and setting goals and things like that. But before we get into that, I wanted to talk about you and your background and how you got into life coaching.

From Restaurants To Life Coaching

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Of course, yeah. So I um actually my first half of my career life actually um was in the restaurant business. So I got my degree in hotel and restaurant management in college, graduated, and then worked for a bakery. And at the um the age of 23, I got the opportunity to open a restaurant here in Dallas. And so mom and I opened a restaurant. And um I loved doing that. I love serving people. But what I really loved was helping my staff and our customers. We had regulars that would come in all the time and they'd tell me about issues they were having with their kids or maybe with their spouse or family, you know, relationships. And I just loved helping people. So uh fast forward, we've been open, the restaurant's been open 30 years. So, fast forward about um it actually was when COVID hit. And my husband and I were out walking one day, and I was like, I just feel like I want to help people more than I want to be in the restaurant business anymore. And so did a lot of research, didn't want to go back to school to become a counselor or therapist. And so I found out about life coaching and um uh went and got certified with a school called the Life Coach School and learned like actual tools and skills, not just, hey, Martha, let me tell you how to be a better mom, but it's actual like here's here's how you do it. Here's some actual foundational things that you can use, practical things. Um, and so that is kind of what landed me here. And I started out working with uh teens and young adults, high school students and college students. Um, and that has grown into moms as well, because I have um moms of the kids that I work with that are like, okay, this is great. You're helping my kid, but now I need some help. Exactly. So I kind of have added that on, and that's really just been a huge, huge um thing that I've been doing that I love because it's so relatable for me. Raise three kids. Right. And now that I work with kids, I can, you know, help parents see what they're going through and you know, how to help them.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Well, that's what I wanted to ask is I knew that you had raised three kids here in Highland Park. Yes. Uh-huh. And how has that affected in just the way that you work with kids and teens? I mean, it's teens and teams.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Teens and teens and moms. It's so funny because um all three of my kids are so different and they all had very different experiences at um in in high school and and all throughout their, you know, um school experience. Um, I've got one that's married who has a baby on the way. Oh, congratulations. I know. So excited. We have a granddaughter due in April. First one, super excited. And then I have two boys that are still in college. So it's not, I'm not that far removed from you know, the high school and the college years. But um, I just feel like anytime I have a student in my um office and we're talking, like I just remember being on the other side of that, you know, with my kids, or my kids' friends would come and talk to me, or my nieces and nephews, or my neighbors would tell us, you know, hey, my kids. So it just, it just feels like so natural and so um I just I just it it just is something that I've experienced so, so much. And then getting the coaching, the training that I got for coaching just made it all click so well.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Yeah, just kind of made it all come together. Well, why do you think that the teen years are equally as emotional for the moms as they are for

Why Teen Struggles Hit Moms Too

SPEAKER_01 5:28

the teens?

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Oh my gosh, that's such a good question. And I think that is one of the most um the biggest questions that I get asked by my moms or my parents. And so, you know, in our teen years, we're trying to really figure out who we are. It's so funny because we want to be uh mature and we want to grow up and we want to be, you know, act like an adult, but we still are in these cliques and in these groups of people where we don't want to be any different than they are, you know, we don't want to stand out at all. So it's such a hard place to be because it's so confusing. Um, add hormones, add all the you know, changes in our bodies and the way we look and the expectations, social media. There's so much that goes into that. Excuse me, it's just this big chaotic storm for kids. So, as moms, you know, I don't know about you, but I just wanted my kids to be okay. I just wanted them to be okay when they were growing up. That was my goal. And first of all, that's not possible. You know, they have to struggle, they have to go through the hard times. Um, and that's just part of life. But um, for moms, we need to understand how to kind of walk them through that. That's really important because we don't want to prevent them from life, but we want to help teach them how to work through it. Right. So when they're on their own, you know, they can do it on their own. Yeah. Um, when they go to college, et cetera. So I think for moms, we don't want to see our kids struggle, but also we don't know how to handle that. Oh my gosh, yes. You know, and so that's really the biggest thing. It's just as I know for me as a mom, that was it. Like I didn't want to see them struggle, but I also didn't know like what to do. I didn't know if something was wrong if they were not okay. Right. And there's nothing wrong. That's the way it's supposed to be. It's just life. I know it is life. It is life. So I feel like there's a component missing to teach parents, okay, your kids struggling. This is this is what you do, this is how you handle it. We're not trying to fix, fix our kids. We're not trying to fix the problems. We're trying to teach them how to live life and manage life. Big difference.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Yeah, you always need those skills. No matter what age you are. Exactly. We still we all struggle with those things. Exactly. There is nothing that can ruin your day faster and destroy the value of our home than a plumbing problem. So before that tiny drip turns into a flood, just call mother. Mother Modern Plumbing's professional plumbers use cutting-edge leak detection technology to nip problems in the bud with their 81-point inspection program. Even better, mother takes pride in their professionalism and always leaves your home cleaner than when they arrived. In the park cities, we all have high expectations for our service providers. That's why I'm proud to recommend Mother Modern Plumbing to you. So remember, if there's even a hint of a leak, call Mother at callmother.com and let them know Martha from the Bubble Lounge sent you. Well, I would have to admit that I kind of ended last year feeling very burnt out, exhausted, all the things. Yeah. And it kind of came down to that I feel like I was trying to do everything. I wasn't asking for help. Um, self-care went out the door a long time ago. And I would imagine there's a lot of people out there listening right now, especially the moms, that feel exactly the same way. Yeah. How do you talk to people and help them reset and just kind of, you know, get to a better place where they're able to get back on track? For sure.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

That's such a good question. And I think the first thing that I'll say, like, I know for HP, kids just went

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SPEAKER_02 8:59

back to school today. Today and it's already what January 6th, 7th, what's today? Um, I think so many people think, okay, it's New Year's Day. I have to have everything in order. It's January 1st, go. Yes. But we're still in the mode of picking up Christmas stuff. We're still returning stuff. We still have our kids home. We still, my, my boys are still home from college. So I have constant, you know, kids

Release The January 1 Pressure

SPEAKER_02 9:22

in and out and meals and all that. So me trying to like jump into like, oh, it's 2026. I've got to get everything perfect and right. It's just not going to happen. So I think the first thing moms need to do is just take a breath and just allow for this easy transition of January. Instead of like, oh, January 1st has to be the deadline. Why not give yourself January to just regroup and take a breath and actually take time to figure out what you want to do, what you want to change, what you want to focus on. There's no way, at least for me as a mom of three and a working mom, there's no way I can go through the holidays, be present with my family, enjoy everything, and then all of a sudden flip the switch on January 1st and be like, I'm working out. I'm, you know, reading the Bible. Like it just doesn't work that way. That's not life.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

I am so glad to hear you say that. Because yes, I'm like feeling like I'm already behind right now. And like you said, our the kids went back today. So my son went back today. And then my daughter leaves to go back to college this weekend. So in my mind, Monday is like the start of my new year when I get back on.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Yes. And if that's if that works for you, great. But if it doesn't, give yourself some grace. If you need to take, like I always felt like when my kids were younger, I had to have January 1st as the reset. Yes. But as I started coaching and got just really understanding how life really works and realistic, I just really reframed it as January is kind of my month to regroup. It's my month to plan. It's my month to catch my breath, get kind of caught up with everything that because really from Thanksgiving to Christmas, it's just madness, right? Oh my gosh, it really is. It's just madness. So why add that? What's the point of adding that extra pressure on ourselves? Like, what does two weeks matter? Three weeks matter for in the big scheme, it doesn't matter. So I think the first thing is taking the pressure off. And then once you take the pressure off, you can just really kind of evaluate where you are, what you want to change, what you want to do differently. Um, and then from that is a whole process of understanding goals that we have. They don't come from us just setting them and saying, I want to do it. Every action that we take in our life, there's a tool that I teach that all my clients doesn't matter what they, you know, if it's a mom that comes to me or a student or a business, it doesn't matter what they're trying to change. I teach them that all of our actions come from how we feel and all of our feelings come from our mindset. So that's backwards. So it's thoughts create feelings. Feelings create actions, actions create results.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

So if you want to have a different result in life, say you want to lose 10 pounds, you have to backtrack all the way. Well, what actions are you taking or do you need to take to lose the weight? How do you need to

The Thought–Feeling–Action Model

SPEAKER_02 12:08

feel in order to take those actions? And what do you need, what's your mindset need to be? So it's a whole process that um that's why people can't just say, I'm gonna do this and expect to change. It doesn't work that way.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

That's such a good point. Well, I was gonna say, why do you think so many New Year's goals fail? People don't actually accomplish them. That's that's the secret.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

That's it right there. Because we think we just need to, oh, we just need to do more, we need to change what we're doing. And we do need to change what we're doing, but you can't just say I'm gonna change what I'm doing. You actually have to look at how you're processing it, what how your what your mindset is, what your perspective is on it. And that is what drives how you feel and what how you feel. Your emotions are what drive all of your actions. Yeah. So it just flows. That's the that is the best way to make any changes in life and the most lasting.

Why Most Resolutions Fail

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Audit Your Life And Set Clear Goals

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Well, how do we reset and just kind of backtrack like what you're saying?

SPEAKER_02 14:08

I think that the first thing, especially as moms, we have so much that we're responsible for and just so much on our shoulders. And I think really taking the intentional time and and and maybe it's a Saturday morning, maybe it's a full day, maybe it's a little time throughout one whole week, and just really evaluating like what's working in my life? What is what is what can just continue to flow? And what can I leave alone? And just what have I figured out? Okay. And then what actually do I want to change? Where do I want to see growth? Is it maybe it's health, maybe it's a business, maybe it's a relationship, maybe you know, it's getting your house in order, whatever it is. Just be really clear. And in order to be clear, you have to know, you have to be very real about where you're starting. You have to be very honest and authentic about, oh, this is actually where I'm starting. Um, so once you can evaluate that, then you can take a good look at saying, this is what I want to change. And then you look at how do I change it? How am I thinking about it? How am I feeling about it? What how do I need to think and feel to change? So it's a process. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Well, goals aren't really about becoming a new person or different person. They're just really about resetting and becoming more intentional. Like I always hate these ad campaigns, new year, new you, because I think you were just fine for this new year, you know?

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Yes. It's not about changing and and and reinventing, it's just about tweaking or fine-tuning, or, you know, maybe everything's fantastic in your life and you just want to keep going, you know, and that takes being intentional as well.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Well, let's talk about setting goals. What does a good goal really look like? And how do you help your clients kind of break into these and and break these down into manageable steps? Right.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

So we look at goals as a goal can be, I just want to feel better. I want to not be so sad all the time, or I not I want to be not be so angry at the time, or maybe it's a tangible goal, like I said, like 10 pounds, or maybe it's I want to, maybe it's an action thing. Maybe it's I want to have a, you know, a more organized home, or maybe it's just a a mindset goal of like, I just don't want to be so negative all the time. So again, it's first just really um, and with clients, I just really ask a lot of questions to get really clear on what they want. And once we can kind of um get clear on what they're wanting to change, then we can look at the steps that we need to take. So if it is a mindset thing, then we go in and we say, I wonder why we're thinking that way. Like, why am I negative all the time? Like what, what am I feeding my brain? Am I listening to, you know, a lot of negative talk? Am I surrounded by a lot of negativity? Is my social media feed negative? Or, you know, it's um our thoughts are a combination of of our whole surroundings, our environments, what's poured into us. So I would look at that. If someone's feeling really sad or really angry or frustrated or completely just, you know, they just don't care. We I would look at, okay, well, how are you, you know, what how are you seeing the world right now? How are you seeing whatever is bothering you? So we'd look at it that way. Actions, we'd look at feelings. It's all it all goes back to that simple tool that I teach for all my clients because it it it just flows. It flows, everything flows in that. Um that did I answer your question? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

That makes total sense. Do you have any other tools that you can pass along that teens and moms

The 50–50 Of Life Emotions

SPEAKER_01 17:37

could use? Oh my gosh, so many.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

Um I think another really helpful tool that I teach parents and kids that is so simple, but it's just kind of mind-blowing because as a mom, I was never, no one ever sat me down and talked to me about this. And, you know, I went to a lot of speakers and I read a lot of parenting books and all that. But um, something that I learned in my training and coaching was um something called 50-50 of life. So when we talk about how we're feeling and our emotions, 50% of the time, and this is just kind of a general thing, 50% of the time, life is gonna be hard. Life is gonna be challenging. It's gonna be, we're gonna have moments that make us sad or frustrated or disappointed or, you know, angry. That's normal. That's healthy. The other 50% of the time should be joy and peace and fun and love and you know, all the good emotions, all the happy emotions. But what I think uh parents and kids don't understand is that you should have both. You should have 50% and 50%. You don't want life, the goal of life is not to always be happy and and not and avoid all the negative emotion. Because when we look at life that way and we start to feel those negative emotions, we think something's gone wrong. Right. We think we're living life wrong. We think the world is out to get us, we think that, you know, we have to fix something. And it's not that's not true. It's it's part now, we don't want to get stuck in those emotions and stay in anger and fear. We don't want to stay in that. But it is normal to feel those. And so I think as parents and as kids, we need to understand that that is very normal, very healthy, and and that's a tool that I teach. It's uh we call it the 50-50 role and go into it a lot more depth. It's been really actually amazing how many students I work with when I say, tell me some positive emotions you feel. And they're like happy. And they can't name they can't name anything else. Oh, wow. How many tell me some negative emotions? Sad. And they just can't, they're not in they're they're not aware of it. They're not, they're not their their language is not there for that.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

Well, I do remember you talking about the 5050 um in your presentation, and I was surprised to see that harsh of a breakdown. I'm just curious, do a lot of people are are a lot of people surprised by that, especially the younger people, because especially with social social being. We're like shown the best parts of everyone's life. So it's kind of hard to believe that those people have 50% not so great moments. Exactly. You know what is so interesting?

SPEAKER_02 20:10

Very sad, but very, very interesting. I would say most of my clients from age 13 to I don't know, work up to 50 and 60 year

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SPEAKER_02 20:22

old clients. Um, most of us sit in the negative more than we do the positive. So most of us sit in the sadness or the anxiety or the fear or the worry or the overwhelm more than we do the happy and the peace and the joy. So when when I tell people this, instead of saying, oh, I thought I was supposed to be happy all the time,

Processing Feelings Beats Resisting Them

SPEAKER_02 20:45

they're like, I'm just feeling all these negative emotions all the time. Does that make sense? So it's it's um you would think it's the opposite where people are like, um, oh, I thought I was supposed to be happy all the time and I want to be happy all the time. But really more they're they're saying, no, I I get that. I it is it's it's very heavy on the negative. And how do I flip that? How do I move? Or I also see a lot, a lot of kids that are right down the middle. Okay. That are just no emotion. They're just going through their days and they don't want to feel either side, which is really kind of fascinating. Yeah.

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Model Growth And Purpose For Kids

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SPEAKER_02 22:53

I mean, I just tell people that um life is meant to be both. And to to to know joy, you have to know sadness. And and the the the fear is if I feel an emotion, I'm gonna feel it for the rest of my life. So if say you go through something, a breakup, and you feel really sad and but you don't want to feel it. A lot of kids, young adults, even adults, feel like if I feel if I allow myself to feel sad, I'm gonna feel sad the rest of my life. But the thing about emotions is once you learn how to process it, once you actually process it, it it it you it it uh it's the processing that allows your body to move on from it. But when you resist it, that's when you can't let go of it. So it's very interesting that the thing that we think we need to do to avoid it, the resisting, is actually what keeps it lingering around. That's interesting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

That's really interesting. Well, how can us as moms model goal setting for our kids? Like, for example, I have one kid that is really good at setting goals, and I I'm pretty sure the other one doesn't at all. So like how can we model that for you?

SPEAKER_02 24:03

Yeah. So I think,

Presence Over Perfection For Moms

SPEAKER_02 24:05

and this goes for all things, all things that we do as parents. Um, our example is gonna speak way louder than anything we say or do or teach. So your kids are watching you. Oh my gosh. And so trick. They're watching you. So even if you say like, oh, I'm setting goals, but we're really not setting them, we're not following through, they're very smart. I know. They're very smart. We can't trick them. So I would just say, um, you know, model what you want your kids to see and do. Um, we can we can tell them and we can show them and we can educate them and teach them, but always, always our actions are going to be what speak the loudest to them. Right. So um, like in our house, we've never been like big goal setter, a big goal setting family. But um, but my kids know like some very specific things that I do. And and if I'm working on like this year, I'm working on growing my coaching business. Um, I'm um starting a workshop for moms because I've had such a and so we were talking the other day, um, all we were all talking about things that we wanted to do in 2026, not necessarily in like a goal, like stressing like, oh, I've got to do this, but just like dreams, hopes, things that we want to do, things that we want to change. And it's more of a conversation than just like, let's get the paper out. And, you know, so I don't know. I think it's different in every family, but I do think that um showing our kids ways that we want to improve, even like, oh my gosh, at our age, you know, that we're still improving. We're still, it's really about growth, right? Not about, you know, trying to achieve more. It's just about growth.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

Right. No, I would agree with you. I don't feel like I, you know, do the big chart and like really make it obvious and have a visual of my goals and everything. So I don't feel like my kids have really witnessed that. But I definitely I like what you're saying is just things that you would like to accomplish in here.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

I do think it's important to teach our kids purpose though. Yes, right. And they need purpose. Um, you know, for for your your child that's in high school right now, his purpose is school. That's his purpose. There's other things that he has, you know, can bring into life um to make his purpose. But there's for different stages in our life, we have different purposes. Um, but also there's other things that we want to do that we want to grow in. So those are those are really important to teach our kids too.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Right. Well, what can we do? What what can we focus on to help our young kids thrive?

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Um, I think uh if you're talking about like elementary school, middle school, I think it's really just talking to them. And and um that starts early on. You know, a a child that feels comfortable to talk to their parent when they're in elementary school is gonna be more comfortable in middle school. It's still awkward, right? Still hard. But um, middle school is not the time to try to start the connection in the relationship with our kids. It can be done, but it's a lot harder. That is a really hard age, isn't it? It is a hard age. It is a hard age. But if we build that foundation when they're younger, it's more natural and we're not forcing it. So, you know, and and it it can just be simple things like going for a walk and talking about, you know, what are you reading right now? What are you watching? You know, just being interested in what they're interested in just shows the connection for them more, I think.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Okay, that's great. Well, what about what advice do you have for moms just as far as staying present in the season of life and still being able to focus on ourselves? Because that's a hard thing to balance, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 27:36

It's so hard. It is so hard. I mean, I think that that's probably one of the the most common threads in in moms um is just trying to take care of what we feel is necessary, but also take care of ourselves. Yes. And I don't know that anyone has the magic answer to that, but I do feel like we definitely as moms feel like there's things that are necessary that maybe we can reevaluate that aren't necessary. Maybe the house doesn't have to be completely picked up. You know, maybe instead of worrying about, you know, doing all these things, we can actually sit down with our kids and, you know, have a conversation. Or when, you know, I know for my kids, one of my kids specifically used to always want to talk to me late at night when I was really tired and ready to go to bed. And I was thinking about my day next year and all I had to do. And just kind of putting that aside and saying, okay, this is what's working for him right now. This is when he needs me. So just being and and it goes by so fast. I know we hear that, but I can tell you, I mean, you know, it really does. And we don't have the the window closes. Um, so really just making it the priority and just continually reminding ourselves, like, hey, we need to make this a priority because this time is fleeting. But also it is important to take care of ourselves. It is important to make sure that we're getting our rest and our, you know, whatever, whatever kind of fills you up, whether it's like pickleball or, you know, uh, maybe it's a Bible study or maybe it's, you know, running or whatever it is, making sure, because you, I'm sure you can attest to this. We're only as good as a mom as we are taking care of ourselves. Yes. So true. And so it is hard. And I think that everyone would would admit, you know, it's a challenge. But I think that being really intentional with the time we have with our kids is important, but also making sure that we take if it's five minutes, if you only have five minutes, if it's 30, whatever you have, to do something that kind of allows you to regroup and take a breath and spend time on yourself.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Yeah, we all really need that, don't we? Because like you said, you're you're no good to anyone else if you're not good at yourself.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

No, and we're also not expected to be superwoman. Like, you know, the reality is we we can't get it all done. And that's okay. Yeah, you know, we need someone affirming that and just saying it's it's okay, you know.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

I hope everyone's listening to that because I think that that is so key right there is just giving yourself permission to not be perfect and not do it all and you know, reach out, get some help, have other people do some things for you.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

Yes, and having grace for ourselves. If, you know, if dinner is hot dogs, it's hot dogs, you know? I mean, it's just having grace for ourselves to not, we don't, you know, our kids, let me tell you, my kids are 26, 22, and and 20, and they don't remember the uh exquisite meals that I made, you know. They don't remember the perfect bows that I had on their Christmas packages. They don't, they remember me being present. They remember me being there, right? They remember me asking me asking them about their lives.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Well, like I mentioned earlier, I ended last year feeling really burned out, overwhelmed,

Practical Reset: Lists, Plans, Grace

SPEAKER_01 30:46

all the things. And I'm trying so hard to get back on track. What advice do you have for us moms when we get to that point? Sure.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

And it happens to all of us, right? We all get to the point where we're just done and we just need a reset and a break.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

So it happens to me every December and every May, like clockwork.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

And I bet if you pull everyone listening, everyone is in the same bed. I I don't know anyone that doesn't. I really don't. I think it's just that, like we said, it's that cram of Thanksgiving to Christmas. And this year, Thanksgiving was so much closer to Christmas. It was crazy. So, okay, so take a time out, take a pause, take a minute just to take a breath and sit back. And I like to get a pen and paper. I'm a very like uh I like to write things down. And I like to just kind of write like what I want to change, what I need to do, what I I'm a big list maker. So I like to kind of get all that on paper. Um, I will tell you, when you actually take things out of your brain and get them on paper, or some people use their phone, their memo notes or whatever, when you get it out of your brain, it kind of stops the ruminating. It also gives you a minute to step back and then look and go, oh my God, that's crazy. I really don't need to go in and organize the front closet today. You know, it's just like it kind of like, but our brain, that's the way our brain is wired. And it's like survival mode on everything. And so just to take us, just uh say, okay, Jen told me that I have to take a day and I need to just block out everything, block it out on your calendar if you're a scheduler, block out time for yourself and just reset and just um really take a breath and say, what do I want to do? What needs to be done right now? What is important? What do I need to be working on? Um, and and again, it's that whole, it doesn't have to be done on January 1st. You have plenty of time. There's plenty of time to do what you need to do. It'll all get done. And just, but just being really clear with what you want to do and what's realistic.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Well, you saying that just made me feel so much better when you said it does not have to start on January 1st. I mean, who had time over the holidays to figure out what they want to focus on for the year?

SPEAKER_02 33:00

And it feels awful to think that, doesn't it? Yeah. So nothing we should, nothing that we are doing should feel awful. Like if you want to start running, uh the thought of doing that shouldn't feel awful. You should be excited. You should be, you know, this is gonna be good for you. Those are the thoughts and feelings you should be having, or else it's not gonna, it's, you know, it's not gonna work. So just again, it's giving yourself grace and just saying, like, okay, what's realistic and what is what feels good? Does it feel good to get excited about, you know, your podcast and plan out the next six weeks? And is that exciting for you? You know, if if it's something you're pushing yourself to do, you're forcing yourself to do, it's not gonna work. Maybe you should reevaluate and crop that off. Yes, it's not gonna work. I can promise you. It happens with all my clients, with anything that they're trying to, anything forced is not gonna work.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Okay. Good to know. Yeah. Well, how do you define success going into the new year? Oh gosh. Personally or for anyone? Just in general.

Define Success As Daily Momentum

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Yeah. I mean, I think it's again, it's what, what, where do you want your what direction do you want your life to take? Um, are you seeing that you want to strengthen your bond with your spouse? Or are you seeing that you want to strengthen your, your, your relationship with your kids? Maybe you have kids in high school and they're getting closer to getting off to college and you want to make sure you have a really strong connection before they leave. You know, what is your, what is what do you want to focus on this year? And so success, I think, is really just being really clear again on what you want and then making a plan to um make sure that you are actively working on that. I'm sure you've heard that this, it's the small things that we do every day that make the big changes. It's not this one big grand, you know, grand change. It's small little changes. So keep showing up little things every day.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

Showing up and being really clear on what you need to do to change to make those changes. That's great. Yeah. Well, what's one piece of advice that you want every mom listening to hear? Oh my gosh. Um you have so much advice.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

I think that, wow, that's a really big question. I really just think that, you know, our kids just want us to love them and accept them for who they are. Right. They don't want to um feel like they have to change to get our approval or our love. Yes. And um, maybe they

One Thing To Do This Week

SPEAKER_02 35:18

aren't, you know, doing things the way we would do them. Uh-huh. Maybe they're um not as social as we'd like them to be, or maybe they're too social, or maybe they're, you know, all the things. But just really, I think for moms, like just really loving and accepting your kids for who they are is the absolute best thing you can do for them.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

I think that's great.

SPEAKER_02 35:36

It's just the best. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

Yeah. Well, what is one thing that we should all focus on this week alone? Oh, goodness.

SPEAKER_02 35:43

Um, I think I would say kind of going back to what we were talking about earlier, like just kind of regrouping and just like taking taking a breath and taking a step back and saying, where what direction do I want to head this year? What do I want to um do or learn or change? And then making an action plan for that. And um, there's so many things online you can go find to do that. But it's really just being really clear about what you want. Um, I think maybe taking those kids are back in school. So take this time to, you know, reset and to uh take care of yourself, set up a plan, a schedule. I'm a big believer in schedules because if it's on your schedule, it's more likely to get done. So schedule that time for yourself. Schedule, block out, you know, a a good half a day. And maybe you stay in your pajamas all day and you know, just drink coffee and journal, or you just think about what you want to, you look at the calendar for the year and you think about what you want to do or change. I think planning is the way to help us um see what we want to do, you know. And I always say, like in a year from now, what do you what would you have liked to have done? What would you like to have changed? What would you have liked to have accomplished? That's what we need to look at.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

Need to focus on great. Well, this has been such an awesome conversation, such a good way to start the year. I appreciate you for coming so much. And if there's one thing I've taken away, is the year doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be intentional. And like you just said, those little changes and steps every single day will get us to where we want to go.

SPEAKER_02 37:16

100%. There's no such thing as perfect. So it's just, it's just what brings you joy, what is is moving in the right direction to where you want to go. And and um, that's really just gratitude for where you are, even. Sounds like a plan. Well, how can listeners find you?

Find Jen And Closing

SPEAKER_02 37:32

Yeah. So they can go to jcmlifecoaching.com. So Jennifer is my first name. I go by Jen, and Kristen is my maiden, my maiden name, and Rulis is my last name. So jcmlifecoaching.com.

SPEAKER_01 37:44

Okay. Wonderful. Well, that's been another episode of the Bubble Lounge. I'm Martha Jackson, and I'll see you next time.